What meditation is not.
It’s time to shed some light on the myths and misconceptions surrounding meditation…
Meditation is not something that empties the head, strips our personality or turns us into zombies or sleepwalkers with no emotion (I’ve been practicing it 17 years and still shed a tear every time one of my boys ‘saves’ a daddy long-legs from a spider’s web or feeds sugar water in a tea spoon to tired bees). It does not steal our personalities or turn us against loved ones. It isn’t a weird cult or a secret, scary thing that hides in shadows. It is not daydreaming or ‘spacing out’. These myths possibly come from the fact that we still don’t totally understand how meditation works and how vastly it impacts the brain, body and mind. The benefits can often seem ‘magical’ or too good to be true (it certainly felt other-worldly to me when after meditating for a few weeks I could get to sleep and stay asleep), so as humans with logical brains we find this difficult to accept – instead of approaching it with curiosity and openness, we vilify it. As a society we often make derogatory or false claims about things we simply do not understand.
It’s common to hear people refer to meditation as a religion or say that it is inextricably linked to faith. That’s because the roots of meditation and contemplative practices lie in most of the global religions. Often meditation is part of a faith but equally it stands on its own as a secular practice without needing religious aspects. It can be linked to religion, and this may add significant meaning to some people, but it is not a one size fits all – the individual person sitting to meditate decides if faith connects to their meditation practice or not.
Another falsehood about meditation is that there is an end point, a nirvana state or profound enlightenment that those sitting to practice are striving for or working towards. This couldn’t be further from the truth. There is no completion or finish line. True meditation is not striving, not chasing, not getting lost in the future or attached to any idea or thought. It is a journey of getting to know yourself. It is not goal orientated; there is no being good or better or the best at doing it. There are no league tables for meditation (and thank goodness - I get enough of that from my boys football teams).
Some people think meditation has fixed boundaries, but the possibilities and applications of meditation are limitless. It is not just one technique. It is not a narrow practice. It is not only sitting on a silent, beautiful, mountain top, wearing a floaty white gown while observing the breath. Don’t get me wrong, I do sit daily in a fairly quiet space for a structured practice (not in a floaty garment or on a mountain - more’s the pity), but I mostly use meditation breathing techniques at the checkout in the supermarket when I’m panicking that I can’t pack my bags quick enough to keep up with the shop assistant and that I won’t meet the holy grail of keeping my frozen and chilled foods in a separate bag.
And it isn’t just used to relax or de-stress. Meditation offers a wide, colourful spectrum of tools and techniques and can be adjusted and made accessible and inclusive to people of all ages and from all walks of life. As well as significant benefits to health and wellbeing it can cultivate compassion, empathy, creativity, productivity, patience, confidence and feeling comfortable in your own skin. But with the infinite ways to meditate, let’s get clear on something it is not; it is not a form of hypnotherapy or coaching, and us qualified meditation teachers will always ‘stay in our lane’ and not start giving advice on anything outside our speciality of meditation.
Lots of people assume it is only for certain people, and that it doesn’t include them. but it isn’t only for those that wear kaftans or beads or bare feet (but all those things are welcome too). Some may think you should be a certain age or gender or body shape or religion or nationality to practice. They may picture only yogis or monks or celebrities sat in lotus pose in an air brushed social media post proclaiming they have seen the light. But the truth is that meditation is for everyone, in the same way that living and breathing is for everyone.
It carries a stigma; for decades its been labelled ‘woo-woo’ or ‘weird’ and been misrepresented by mass media. It’s difficult to alter long held perceptions of something repeatedly positioned as only for ‘non-conformists’ or those with an ‘alternative’ lifestyle. But the truth is, it isn’t a clique or a fad or a trend. Meditation has existed since the first human drew breath and contemplated the moon, and it will continue to exist as long at there are people around to breathe and gaze up at the moon.
It is a myth that meditation is doing instead of being (and this is perhaps why defining it is such a challenge). Likewise, it isn’t adding something to our lives but more like stripping things back, returning to a default, welcoming simplicity. And please don’t think that sitting and simply being is impossible for those with a busy mind; that meditation only suits those with a calmer disposition. It is a mistake to believed that meditation ‘isn’t working’ or ‘isn’t being done correctly’ if thoughts occur in the mind during practice. Everyone has a busy mind and everyone can meditate – and those positive changes like lowering of stress hormones and reducing blood pressure happen regardless of whether 1 minute into a meditation we remember we need to buy some carrots.
It also isn’t true that beginners always enjoy their first practice or that you’re guaranteed insights or clarity or peace – we do not sit to practice with the expectation of rewards and it may take time to explore different types of meditation to find one that suits. It is also false to label it a self-indulgent or selfish activity when meditation in its true, holistic sense is focused as much on others as it is on ourselves (I am a far more patient and present parent since I decided to meditate daily). Furthermore, it is a myth that meditation requires large amounts of time and only ‘works’ if you sit for hours at a time. Scientific evidence now suggests the optimum daily meditation length to benefit the brain, and our bodies is around 22 minutes per day. Plus, we can do mindfulness and spot meditation practices throughout the day to support our wellbeing (like when we’re late and stuck in traffic, and begin to feel our heart rate rise, or when a child - not naming any names - asks us for the one millionth time for a snack).
This plethora of misconceptions and misunderstandings about meditation can sadly create barriers that prevent people exploring it. As more research is carried out and more scientific data is gathered, we can happily expose a lot of these falsehoods. As a meditation teacher I have the privilege to share what meditation is and to dispel the myths so that it can be shared with more people as the magnificent and inclusive practice that it is. When I first tried some meditation techniques with my children they didn’t make any assumptions or judgements or place any barriers in the way of trying something that could be enjoyable and benefit them; they tried things with wide eyes and curiosity, the same way they learnt to read, ride a bike and eat with cutlery (I’m sorry to report this one is still a work in progress). So maybe we can learn a lot from them, maybe we can approach things we don’t understand the way a child might. We can be open and curious, try new things, and then make up our own minds.
Emma x